Your body is like a child. Whether you have children or know children or met a child once at some point, pause for a moment and think: How do you speak to children?
Now think about your body. How do you speak to your body?
When you get up in the morning and head into the bathroom, what do you say to your reflection in the mirror? A loving, “Good morning!” Or, “Ugh. This is as good as it’s going to get.”
When you get dressed, are you saying kind words to yourself or is it, “This is so frustrating! I hate all these flabby bits!”
As a wardrobe mentor I’m a blend between a fashion consultant and a life coach. It is my privilege to work with women and men on the emotional and energetic side of their fashion. Changing what you wear, how you wear it, and especially WHY you wear it will transform your life. A key principle I have discovered is it’s incredibly difficult to dress a body that you hate. No matter your size.
Let me say that again: If you hate your body for any reason, it makes it more challenging to find outfits that work for you and you’ll never be satisfied with the results.
Amie is one of my clients. She’s a mom to two little rambunctious boys and had difficult pregnancies resulting in a significant weight gain. When she gets up in the morning, she glances at herself in the mirror and wonders, “Where did this frumpy fatty mom come from? It was only 5 years ago I was single and hot and skinny!” Then she goes on with her day of chasing her toddler and caring for her baby.
If your body is like a child, what happens if you daily tell that child, “You’re not good enough. There’s something wrong with you. I don’t like you.”?
After Amie and I started working together on her unique and powerful personal style, I gave her the assignment to write a letter to her body.
“Dear Amie’s Body,
I hate you. I hate how fat you are. I hate the stretch marks and the jiggly parts and how you don’t fit into any of my old cute clothes! What is wrong with you? Why can’t you go back to the way you were before? I’m sick and tired of trying to find things to wear that don’t make it look like I’m smuggling an inner tube! I’m tired of feeling like this! Why are you not losing weight? What is wrong with you? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Then I had her write a response letter from her body back to her. This is an intuitive process of letting the words flow and come to you.
I love you. I know you think there is something wrong with me and that I’ve let you down. We both know how hard it was bringing the boys into the world and how there were days we weren’t sure we would survive. We have been through a lot together. It’s been sad and lonely and really, REALLY tough feeling like no one else understands. But I understand. Because I was there every step of the way. And we made it! We did it! We survived!
I know that the stretch marks and the scars and the new shape are different than before. Please remember that we ARE different now! And all these changes are a reflection of that. Please remember back when you were really big with the babies and how proud you were of me; how eager you were to show me off since we were growing life together. If you were proud then, you can be proud now. Proud isn’t about a size or shape; it’s an attitude!
Also remember that just like a lot has changed in the past 5 years, a lot will change in the next 5. And I will still be here with you, every moment of every day. We’re going to make it together.
I love you,
Personal style is all about paradigms. After changing her perspective on her relationship with her body, Amie was able to look at her reflection with love and pride. Because her body was right; they had made it together! Then she took it to the next level with quickly and easily finding pieces that work for her personal style. A style she couldn’t even see or imagine until she made peace with her body.
If you are struggling with dressing your body (post-pregnancy or post-life adventures or post-anything), I highly recommend writing your body a letter and making peace. If you need to write a letter to each body part you don’t like, then do it! It is impossible to find a shirt that makes your belly look awesome if each time you look at your belly you think hateful thoughts towards it.
Your body is like a child. Be kind and loving and nurturing towards your body and watch your life change.
Thank you to Amie for giving me permission to share her experience and thank you to Julia for inviting me to guest post on her blog!
I would like to thank Kami Woodward for writing this amazing guest post. (The FIRST Guest post on my site! Whoot!) Speaking as the mother of 3 crazy wonderful children, I can tell you that I have struggled at times with this very issue. Thank you Kami for the wisdom and perspective in this post. -Julia (The Quiet Grove)
Get more information on wardrobe mentoring by contacting Kami Woodward on her website kamiwoodward.com or follow her on Instagram @kamimentor.