Self Care Is More Than Just Pampering Yourself
Ok, Let's talk about the real deal when it comes to Self Care
As a mother, I am called on to give and give and give until sometimes it feels as if I can't give anymore. There are soo many people who depend on me not dropping the ball. However, I know that if I don't take care of myself, then I won't have much to continue to give. This is probably why there are soo many articles out there about self-care.
The problem is that most of these articles about self-care are really just about fun or creative ways to pamper yourself. No, I am not saying that there is anything wrong with pampering yourself. In fact, I think it is part of the equation of Self Care. I just want to be clear that self-care is soooo much more. At its heart, self-care is really just caring enough about yourself. Let me phrase this differently... Do you care about or in other words VALUE yourself enough to properly take care of yourself?
True Self Care involves 5 main aspects that should be applied throughout your day and life to nurture your true self and enable you to be able to give to those you love.
1- Internal Dialogue.
I am always a huge believer of starting with the inside and then working your way outward. So let's talk about your personal inner dialogue.
How do you think about yourself and even talk to yourself on a daily basis?
Is your inner dialog filled with contempt, disgust, or even despair? Do you focus on all your shortcomings and imperfections? Or do you consciously choose to speak in affirming tones of confidence, hope, and kindness? Do you choose to focus on consciously loving yourself as you are while working towards being better?
I was once told that if we focus on the bad, that soon that is all we will be able to see. But if we look for the good we will surely find it. Look for the good in yourself keep your inner dialogue positive. As you do so you will find that you are happier and people will love being near you.
2- Healthy Habits.
When I say healthy habits I mean doing all those things every day to keep your body healthy.
This includes brushing and flossing your teeth, taking vitamins, eating healthy, drinking enough water, being physically active, having a skin care regime, and getting adequate sleep at night (ok that last one I struggle with).
None of these healthy habits need to cost a lot of money or even take a lot of your time each day. However, they all impact your health and happiness in a very direct way.
3- Cultivate Mom Friends.
We were not meant to travel through life along. Even introverts need people.
Life as a mother can be very demanding. Balancing all our roles as wife, mother, homemaker and sometimes even provider can take soo much of our time and energy that it is easy to become distanced from our friends and pretty soon isolated and alone.
Yet the truth is we need friends. We really do. Even if we can't get see them often and mostly keep in touch via phones or the internet it is still important to stay connected. To have someone outside your family that you can talk to. Just remember friends take work. But then everything of worth takes work.
If possible take the time to get out with your friends. Even if only once a month. Trust me as busy as your life is, you can find the time and it will be well worth it. Right now I get out once a month to play BUNCO with some close friends. I also enjoy getting together once a month with other friends for a book club/movie night. I can't always make it every month but I do try. And since I have started it has made a huge difference in my life.
4- Take Time for Just You!
“It’s NOT selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make happiness a priority. It’s necessary” – Unknown
Here is where the pampering side of self-care comes in. As women, we are called on to love and nurture others on a daily basis. However, the truth is that we can only give what we have. As we care for, nurture and truly love ourselves, our ability to nurture, care for and love others increases.
Now you might say, "But I am just to busy. I don't have time to take time for myself." But the truth is we take time for what we value. Even if means waking up a few minutes earlier than your kids, staying up a few inutes later or even locking yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes to yourself. Really, this time doesn't have to be hours of your day. Even 5 minutes spent on yourself can make a huge difference in filling that inner well.
5- Hobby or Interests
Everyone needs hobbies and interests. Even busy moms. Especially Busy Mom.
What do you like to do when you aren't having to do something? For as busy as life can get there are always those moments available find yourself doing nothing. For me, I love to read. Often in a spare moment of downtime, you will find me lost in the page of a current book (even if I only have time to read 1 or 2 pages at a time)
I also enjoy doing crafts. Often these crafts are practical as well as fun, making a handmade gift for a friend, creating a home decor item to decorate with or even working on projects and decorations for an upcoming party (like the fun theme parties my kids like).
Whatever your hobbies or talents may be, I encourage you to not give up on them. Take the time (even if just a few minutes here or there.) to work on/ enjoy them. These hobbies & interests not only help you keep developing but they also bring joy and focus into your life.
Just remember when reading this and other articles like this. YOU ARE WORTH IT! When you start to love yourself and demonstrate that love by taking care of yourself regularly, you will find that you will be happier, more at peace and more able to share that love and care with those around you.
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