Dear Moms, It's Ok to Make Mistakes
Take a deep breath and repeat after me, "It's ok to make mistakes."
Whew, that wasn't soo hard was it? Ok, maybe it was. After all, we live in a very unforgiving and opinionated world. One that is quick to judge and condemn mothers for any failing or perceived mistake in parenting. Even worse, people have no problem sharing those judgments and condemnations on social media for the whole word to join in on the fun. It's enough to make you sick to the stomach. After all, anyone who has been a parent for any length of time (especially parents of multiple children) know that you are going to make mistakes. You are going to have bad parenting moments. You are going to have epic fails. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying to you and themselves or is just plain out of touch with reality.
Take comfort in the fact that your children were sent to you and not someone else. There has to be a reason for this. I believe the reason is that even though you may not be a perfect parent, you have the potential to be just the parent your children need. The key to being a good and even great parent lies simply in loving your children and doing your best. When you have a parent fail, learn from it and move on. When you try something that doesn't work try something else. When you make a cringe-worthy mistake, acknowledge it, ask for forgiveness and then do better. At the same time, when you have a parenting triumph celebrate it. When you find out what works for you and your family keep doing it (no matter what anyone else thinks). When you are doing well acknowledge it and always strive to do better.
[Tweet "The good news is that your kids are resilient enough to survive your parenting fails."]
As you go through the joys and struggles of #parentlife please be considerate of others. Just like you, these other parents aren't perfect. They will make mistakes and have epic fails in parenting. And yes they will make different parenting choices for their family than you. This doesn't make them a bad parent any more than it makes you one. They love their children like you love yours and they are doing their best. Rather than joining in the crowd spewing judgment and criticism, choose to be understanding and supportive.
When everyone else is saying/posting something critical about another parent resist temptation and say/post something kind and encouraging instead. Maybe your words will influence others to be more kind and understanding not only toward that parent but toward you.
Just remember parenting like life is a journey. Make sure you take the time to embrace every moment for all too soon your children will grow up and start families of their own. When that happens they will need you to remind them that they aren't expected to be perfect. They just need to LOVE their children and do their best to be the parents their children need.
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Great post Julia! It's sad that so often people feel the need to judge others simply because it's different than what they would do.
So true! It's so easy to blow things out of perspective and so important to look at the big picture. Thanks for the reminder!